Maybe You Were Right
by mistress amethyst une
Summary: Janeway's bent on revenge against her first officer. What exactly did he do wrong? One-shot. Two versions.
1. Version That Ignores Canon

**Disclaimer: **ST: VOY isn't mine. I refuse to take credit for Endgame, thus bringing the wrath of several dissatisfied fans down upon my head. Hatred's all yours, Paramount.

**Author's Note: **Blame Enrique Iglesias. Why? Figure it out or worse: ask. The fish diet I'm currently on also has something to do with this.

**Maybe You Were Right**  
**By mistress amethyst une**

Partial surrender was no surrender. All he had to do was omit a single word from his statement, just one word, one word of uncertainty. Three beautiful words could be so easily ruined by putting in that single word showing reluctance. "You're not fat" or "I love you" or "don't kill me" just don't work the same when the word "maybe" precedes them. Being unsure in a situation involving any of those statements could only lead to unpleasantness.

Captain Kathryn Janeway was quite sure her first officer would be needing that third sample sentence some time soon. Commander Chakotay had made the grave mistake of marring one of the captain's favorite sentences with the m-word. One of the main principles that governed their peaceful coexistence, also known as their friendship, was that she be allowed to rub his mistakes in his face. In return, she let him do the same whenever she made an error. That was, of course, if he dared. It wasn't her fault that a natural fear of her was instilled in her subordinates. It was, after all, natural, and a mere consequence of what she was.

She mulled over the commander's suicidal course of action. He should have just accepted defeat. She wouldn't have minded if he'd waited for her to blunder, retaliated then, and played it straight. Well, maybe she would have minded that a little but not quite as much as she minded this. Partial surrender and usage of the m-word was most certainly playing it dirty. She wasn't going to let him get away with "maybe you were right." It made no sense. How many peace treaties were built on "maybe we like each other now?" Certainly not a lot. No, wait, maybe all of them. In fact, her entire relationship with the man she currently wished to maim was built on "maybe we like each other now." She often forgot these things when she was flustered.

The scene replayed in her mind, vexing her beyond belief. They'd had a trivial argument, more like a friendly debate actually. They were in the Mess Hall contemplating Neelix's latest dish. Chakotay told her that their crazy cook couldn't possibly concoct anything worse than yesterday's leola root surprise. The Talaxian had outdone himself. Wormlike creatures crawled about the...well, it was alive! That was definitely one meal she wanted to forget. Still, she thought that Neelix could have done a lot worse. Chakotay argued with her about that. A living meal was difficult to beat. He firmly believed that Neelix's dishes couldn't get any worse. She didn't. She really didn't.

Today's dish stared them in the face. Literally. He even commented that it had her eyes. He received a mild slap on the wrist for that one. It was true, actually. The steamed white tentacled creature's eyes were the same color as hers. She'd wondered what its eye color had been when it was raw. She shuddered. Wondering about that hadn't been a good idea.

Despite the disgusting appearance of their lunch, Chakotay still insisted that it couldn't possibly be worse than the previous day's dish. She noted that he was making no move to taste the dish. She assumed that he was too much of a coward to prove his point. Bravely, and rather foolishly, she took her knife and, with much effort due to the gummy resistance the flesh offered, cut a small piece of tentacle from the thing on her plate. She couldn't help but note the suction cup on the morsel, wondering if it would come alive and attach itself to the roof of her mouth. Well, there was no turning back now. She ate that small bit and immediately felt the urge to spit it out the moment it hit the inside of her mouth. The elastic piece of meat landed on her plate, bounced, and conveniently dove into her glass of her water, preventing her from washing her mouth out. She grabbed at his glass and drank greedily to wash the vileness off her tongue. The taste was indescribable, wasn't a taste! It was more like a sensation, like having your mouth stunned by a phaser. At least yesterday's dish, despite having the cloying taste of leola, and constantly crawling about the table, was mildly edible. That one was more of just a visual shock. After the first few bites, and some imagination, one could faintly taste a very mild hint of dehydrated fish in there. It was far from palatable, but it was at least bearable. This supposedly edible thing that had her eyes was something else entirely. Her mouth was repulsed by it. She didn't care what Neelix had said about its nutritional value. Not another bite was going to pass her lips.

Chakotay just rolled her eyes at her, and insulted her by saying she was putting on an act. Peeved beyond measure, she'd dared him to take a bite. In an act of sheer machismo, he'd cut himself an entire tentacle from the rubbery creature. Smugly, he put the entire alien appendage in his mouth. She watched for his reaction. In moments, she found herself desperately resisting the urge to laugh as he desperately tried to keep his mouth closed. And then...

She would never forgive him! Never! It had been his suggestion that they take a late lunch! Because of him she'd been tardy for the shift. And what did he have to say after throwing up on her uniform? No damn apology. Partial surrender and use of the m-word!

Breathing heavily from mentally reliving the experience, she lay back on her ready room couch. She'd done what was necessary during the shift, then promptly excused herself. It would take awhile to cool her blood. She knew she couldn't be angry forever. She sighed. He would have to take her revenge with an open mind. She was actually doing him a favor. The moment he fell into her trap, she would forgive him. All would be as it used to be.

After a few minutes, he was outside her door requesting to see her. She activated her combadge as she let him in, issuing the whispered order. Several of the creatures from lunch, in their raw form, materialized above his head and fell upon him. She'd never before met a man capable of such a high-pitched squeal. The pleasure of the whole bridge bearing witness to his embarrassment was an added bonus.

All right, she was placated now. Everything could return to normalcy. At least that was what she'd thought before one of the slimy creatures had hit her in the face. Hm...it still had her eye color even its raw form. So Chakotay wanted war? Fine. The peace treaty was off. She looked at him, seeing the sick joy in his eyes even as he dripped with goop while watching her pulling the the tentacles off her face. Unable to hold it in any longer, she laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Yes, their peace treaty built on "maybe I like you now" was definitely off. His thirst for vengeance matched hers. She definitely liked him now.

* * *

My attempt at a humor piece with no dialogue. Again, blame Enrique Iglesias. Yes, this is Chakotay's revenge for having so much phlegm coughed up on him in "Volatile." :)


	2. Extended Vegetarian Version

**Disclaimer: **ST: VOY isn't mine. Hard to believe because I just ignored canon as badly as TPTB.

**Author's Note:** I am a sleep-deprived idiot! Vegetarian! Ugh...

**Maybe You Were Right: Extended Vegetarian Version**  
**By mistress amethyst une**

Partial surrender was no surrender. All he had to do was omit a single word from his statement, just one word, one word of uncertainty. Three beautiful words could be so easily ruined by putting in that single word showing reluctance. "You're not fat" or "I love you" or "don't kill me" just don't work the same when the word "maybe" precedes them. Being unsure in a situation involving any of those statements could only lead to unpleasantness.

Captain Kathryn Janeway was quite sure her first officer would be needing that third sample sentence some time soon. Commander Chakotay had made the grave mistake of marring one of the captain's favorite sentences with the m-word. One of the main principles that governed their peaceful coexistence, also known as their friendship, was that she be allowed to rub his mistakes in his face. In return, she let him do the same whenever she made an error. That was, of course, if he dared. It wasn't her fault that a natural fear of her was instilled in her subordinates. It was, after all, natural, and a mere consequence of what she was.

She mulled over the commander's suicidal course of action. He should have just accepted defeat. She wouldn't have minded if he'd waited for her to blunder, retaliated then, and played it straight. Well, maybe she would have minded that a little but not quite as much as she minded this. Partial surrender and usage of the m-word was most certainly playing it dirty. She wasn't going to let him get away with "maybe you were right." It made no sense. How many peace treaties were built on "maybe we like each other now?" Certainly not a lot. No, wait, maybe all of them. In fact, her entire relationship with the man she currently wished to maim was built on "maybe we like each other now." She often forgot these things when she was flustered.

The scene replayed in her mind, vexing her beyond belief. They'd had a trivial argument, more like a friendly debate actually. They were in the Mess Hall contemplating Neelix's latest dish. Chakotay told her that their crazy cook couldn't possibly concoct anything worse than yesterday's leola root surprise. The Talaxian had outdone himself. Wormlike creatures crawled about the...well, it was alive! That was definitely one meal she wanted to forget. Still, she thought that Neelix could have done a lot worse. Chakotay argued with her about that. A living meal was difficult to beat. He firmly believed that Neelix's dishes couldn't get any worse. She didn't. She really didn't. Besides, who was he to speak? He'd gone with the worm-free version.

Today's dish stared them in the face. Literally. He even commented that it had her eyes. He received a mild slap on the wrist for that one. It was true, actually. The steamed white tentacled creature's eyes were the same color as hers. She'd wondered what its eye color had been when it was raw. She shuddered. Wondering about that hadn't been a good idea.

Despite the disgusting appearance of their lunch, Chakotay still insisted that it couldn't possibly be worse than the previous day's dish. She noted that he was making no move to taste the dish. Of course, he had that damn vegetarian excuse. Bravely, and rather foolishly, she took her knife and, with much effort due to the gummy resistance the flesh offered, cut a small piece of tentacle from the thing on her plate. She couldn't help but note the suction cup on the morsel, wondering if it would come alive and attach itself to the roof of her mouth. Well, there was no turning back now. She ate that small bit and immediately felt the urge to spit it out the moment it hit the inside of her mouth. The elastic piece of meat landed on her plate, bounced, and conveniently dove into her glass of her water, preventing her from washing her mouth out. She grabbed at his glass and drank greedily to wash the vileness off her tongue. The taste was indescribable, wasn't a taste! It was more like a sensation, like having your mouth stunned by a phaser. At least yesterday's dish, despite having the cloying taste of leola, and constantly crawling about the table, was mildly edible. That one was more of just a visual shock. After the first few bites, and some imagination, one could faintly taste a very mild hint of dehydrated fish in there. It was far from palatable, but it was at least bearable. This supposedly edible thing that had her eyes was something else entirely. Her mouth was repulsed by it. She didn't care what Neelix had said about its nutritional value. Not another bite was going to pass her lips.

Chakotay just rolled her eyes at her, and insulted her by saying she was putting on an act. Peeved beyond measure, she'd dared him to take a bite. As expected, he threw that vegetarian excuse at her. She called Neelix to the table and asked about the creature. What exactly was it? The Talaxian's report made her smile. It was a potato of some sort. Oddest potato around. Its countless eyes served the exact same purpose as they did on an Earth potato. The tentacles on it were there because it hunted...yes, hunted. A carnivorous plant.

Appearing smug, she issued her challenge again. He was unable to refuse her. In an act of sheer machismo, he'd cut himself an entire tentacle from the rubbery creature. Smugly, he put the entire alien appendage in his mouth. She watched for his reaction. In moments, she found herself desperately resisting the urge to laugh as he desperately tried to keep his mouth closed. And then...

She would never forgive him! Never! It had been his suggestion that they take a late lunch! Because of him she'd been tardy for the shift. And what did he have to say after throwing up on her uniform? No damn apology. Partial surrender and use of the m-word!

Breathing heavily from mentally reliving the experience, she lay back on her ready room couch. She'd done what was necessary during the shift, then promptly excused herself. It would take awhile to cool her blood. She knew she couldn't be angry forever. She sighed. He would have to take her revenge with an open mind. She was actually doing him a favor. The moment he fell into her trap, she would forgive him. All would be as it used to be.

After a few minutes, he was outside her door requesting to see her. She activated her combadge as she let him in, issuing the whispered order. Several of the creatures from lunch, in their raw form, materialized above his head and fell upon him. She'd never before met a man capable of such a high-pitched squeal. The pleasure of the whole bridge bearing witness to his embarrassment was an added bonus.

All right, she was placated now. Everything could return to normalcy. At least that was what she'd thought before one of the slimy creatures had hit her in the face. Hm...it still had her eye color even its raw form. So Chakotay wanted war? Fine. The peace treaty was off. She looked at him, seeing the sick joy in his eyes even as he dripped with goop while watching her pulling the the tentacles off her face. Unable to hold it in any longer, she laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Yes, their peace treaty built on "maybe I like you now" was definitely off. His thirst for vengeance matched hers. She definitely liked him now.

* * *

And now I'm in canon. xD


End file.
